We have bagpipes for our procession on the Sunday following Corpus Christi. One of our parishioners is in such an ensemble. It's kind of nice.

A young man from my neighborhood received college scholarship money because he played the bagpipes. I prefer what my 100% Irish father called "the small pipes" which seem less aggressive, at least for my ears.

The pipes are allergic to Bourbon and Tennessee whiskey and any other corn liquor. No peat = no pipes.

Sounds like a good idea.
Side note: The late ethnomusicologist William Malm (emeritus, University of Michigan) taught a course in European and American Folk Music. And he was so INCENSED at the Highland Pipes being referred to as "the bagpipes" as if there were no other, that he made us learn about every bagpipe in Europe.

Bag pipes of different styles are widely spread round the world. In these islands we still have Irish & Scottish small pipes, and Northumbrian pipes (all elbow pumped), as well as the familiar Scottish war pipes. But none suits better in church, I think, than those of the later genius who added keys to the pipes.

As an English ex-pat now living in NE Scotland, I would suggest that the bagpipes are definitely an outdoor instrument, heard to advantage on a bleak hillside. Attempting to pair them with other instruments, especially indoors is unadvisable, the tuning can be distinctly dodgy. It's not for nothing that the Piob Mhor or Great Highland Bagpipe was regarded as a weapon of war!
They are often heard here piping a bride into church, or at a funeral, but generally they stay outside the church. A massed band of them is definitely very rousing, I have to say, and several schools in these parts have very enthusiastic young pipers.

Though I love the Scottish pipes, I've got to say that Uilleann pipes take the cake for me. There's something sweeter and more expressive about them. Plus, as I once heard an Uilleann piper quip, you don't have to keep walking about to get away from the racket you're making.

I agree that small pipes are more expressive and another positive of Uillean pipes is that they can play more notes. I shudder when I hear tunes altered because the proper note cannot be played on the Scottish bag pipes.

As the old joke goes, the difference between a bagpipe and an onion is that no one cries when you slice a bagpipe.

As I've mentioned here previously, the difference between an oboe and an onion is that no one cries when you chop up an oboe.

"I shudder when I hear tunes altered because the proper note cannot be played on the Scottish bag pipes"

Being English, I find it rather amusing that the pipes don't have a crucial note to play 'O flower of Scotland', the anti-English anthem often heard at rugby matches etc, correctly. 'Scotland the brave' is ok, and a much better tune IMO.